PROMPT:
The issue of who should bear the primary responsibility for health promotion and healthcare provision has sparked a contentious debate in modern society. Discuss both perspectives, where some argue that individuals should take charge of their own health, while others believe that governments should play a central role in providing health education and healthcare facilities.
MODEL ESSAY:
In modern society, the issue of who should bear the primary responsibility for health promotion and healthcare provision has sparked a contentious debate. While some argue that individuals should take charge of their own health, others believe that governments should play a central role in providing health education and healthcare facilities. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my personal view.
On one hand, proponents of the idea that individuals are primarily responsible for their health emphasize the importance of personal accountability. They argue that individuals have the autonomy to make lifestyle choices that either promote or undermine their health. For instance, by adopting healthy habits such as regular exercise, balanced diet, and stress management, individuals can prevent various health conditions and lead a fulfilling life. Moreover, by taking ownership of their health, individuals can reduce the burden on healthcare systems and contribute to the overall well-being of society.
On the other hand, proponents of government intervention in health promotion and healthcare provision argue that public health is a collective responsibility. They contend that governments have the resources and authority to implement policies and programs that can reach a broader population and address systemic health issues. For example, through initiatives such as public health campaigns, subsidization of healthcare services, and regulation of harmful products, governments can ensure that all citizens have access to essential healthcare services and information necessary to make informed decisions about their health.
In my opinion, while individuals should certainly play a crucial role in maintaining their own health, governments also have a responsibility to promote public health and ensure access to quality healthcare services. An effective healthcare system requires a balance between individual empowerment and government support. Individuals should be encouraged to take proactive steps towards improving their health, while governments should create an enabling environment that supports healthy behaviors and ensures equitable access to healthcare services for all members of society.
In conclusion, the issue of individual versus government responsibility for health promotion and healthcare provision is complex and multifaceted. Both individuals and governments have important roles to play in fostering a healthy society. By working together collaboratively, we can achieve optimal health outcomes for all members of society.
EVALUATION:
- Task Achievement (TA): The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on individual versus government responsibility for health promotion and healthcare provision. The writer clearly presents arguments for each viewpoint and then offers a personal opinion. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss the two views separately, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the writer's opinion. Transition words are used effectively to connect ideas and improve overall coherence.
- Lexical Resource (LR): A wide range of vocabulary is used appropriately throughout the essay. Technical terms related to health promotion and healthcare are used accurately, and there is also evidence of some less common vocabulary. The language is precise and contributes to the clarity of the arguments presented.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy with complex structures used effectively. There are no major errors that impede communication, and a variety of sentence structures are employed to enhance clarity and coherence.
Overall, this essay is likely to achieve a band score of 9 on the IELTS Writing test. It effectively addresses the prompt, demonstrates a high level of language proficiency, and presents a well-structured and coherent argument with strong support for the writer's opinion.
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